How to Stop Sleeping
perch your anger and remorse like weighty buzzards in a willow
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Hold your breath. I failed a swimming test trying to touch the bottom of the deep end. The swim instructor focused my breathing and rubbed my back. “Ssssshhhhhh—it’s okay. You can breathe now. You can breathe now. Take a deeeeeeeep breath.” This is where you breathe. 5 years ago, my father died– a tidal wave [...]
I want to be dying. I said. I want to be dying, I said. Don’t confuse the two– I don’t want to be dead–no. I want to be dying and aware that I am dying, so that I can grab life by its fucking irreverent teenage-ragged-red-plaid-grunge-flannel and scream, “Fuck you! I’m not ready to go, [...]
